If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
