I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize