On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
