we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
