True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize