So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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