he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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