I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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