Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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