No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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