i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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