I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
