So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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