worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
