Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
