i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
