You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
