I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
