community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
