Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
