so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We got so high we made milksteak
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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