their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
