Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
