I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize