I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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