Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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