You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
