no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just invented taco cereal.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
