i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
