i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize