Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
