It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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