Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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