just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
