My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
tell me about the eggs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
