You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
