More tranny stories later!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
pray to the hookup gods
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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