am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize