Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
