The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
