C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My hand turned me down
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
