Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
