let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
