I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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