Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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