"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
