please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
