Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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