Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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