Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
