my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
