when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
