i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
