He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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