Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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