two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
