I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
