My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize